Things are getting personal in our home. Personal, as in personality tests.
It started when one of my children and his circle of friends became intrigued by the Myers-Briggs test. A free online version of the test fueled their ongoing discussion, analysis and comparison. Sometimes they refer to each other by their type indicator, like ESFP or INFJ. They enjoy speculating what other people might be. My son pegged me as an INTJ.
Assessments like Myers-Briggs, DISC, Strengths Finder, Kolbe, et al can be instructive. There’s value in understanding how and why we behave in natural and adapted ways. It can be enlightening. Fun, even. As a parent, insight into the hard wiring of my children can lead toward the development of better and more effective ways of communicating and nurturing. In the workplace, assessments can go far toward crafting efficient, productive, unified teams.
Contrarily, assessments offer temptation. To use results as a shield or wall to hide behind. To legitimize negative behavior. To respond to confrontation with a flippant, “Well that’s just who I am.” It’s also tricky to stay away from categorical labeling such as, “Well, she’s an INTJ you know” or “Yep, he’s got his hands full with that high-D child.”
I’ve fallen prey to some of those temptations. I’ve jumped to conclusions. Pigeon-holed. Sold people short. And when I do, I discount their uniqueness. My assumptions close the door to enjoying the beauty and strength of each personality type. Unfounded judgments choke the possibility for relating in a way that brings honor and glory to the One who made all of us.
Jesus is our best example of how to live with all types of people. He burst upon our human experience “full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14) He’s Lord of the introverts and the party animals. The entrepreneurs and the dutiful. The controllers and the drifters. The dependent, the self-righteous, the compulsive, the brash and the misunderstood. In all His relationships Jesus gave, and continually gives “grace upon grace.” (John 1:16) I am called to do the same by softening interactions with ENFPs, high I’s, the unorganized and the chatty (did I mention I’m an INTJ?). I’m to have a graceful disposition that absorbs misjudgment of things I did or did not do. Said, or did not say. Grace that gently guides to the truth and love of Jesus Christ.
Whether shy, decisive, free spirit, analyst, artist or strategist we are all worthy of dignity and respect. We all bear God’s image and each of us is responsible to harness our entire being – strengths and weaknesses – for God’s glory. The Westminster Catechism states it this way: “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” Bringing glory to God involves shedding sin. It demands loving God and loving people. (Matthew 22:37-39) It should result in ways of living that align with the clear instruction of God’s Word. It means allowing room for differing personalities, styles and strengths recognizing we are all much less than perfect. (Romans 3:23)
Peace and unity in a world of diversity is a tough gig. It’s the tension of balancing truth and love while finding grace for the gray areas. Such is the call of a Jesus follower – no matter your personality type.
O Spirit of God…help me to walk the separated life with firm and brave step, and to wrestle successfully against weakness. ~ Valley of Vision, “Weaknesses”