Potential Suitors

We had a very merry airsoft Christmas. The males in our home (minus the dog) were each outfitted with a weapon and the requisite personal protective equipment. So far the only casualties have been a chest welt and a broken gun. Fortunately, the store offered to help with our misfortune (I’m referring to the gun, not the welt). So I asked my oldest son, our resident airsoft expert, for assistance with my shopping. Below is his abridged and lightly edited email with his recommendations. I realize the funny and cute factor of his note is greater for Katrina and me than it might be for you. Still, we think you’ll get a kick out of it.

Well here is the fantastic and wonderful line up of potential suitors for your replacement battle-mate. 

Gun #1: For the record being recorded by the gmail nerds I would just like to state that this is for sure the absolute best airsoft spring handgun you can buy for any amount of money. For a meager sum of forty dollars you gain three hundred twenty-five fps. This is an incredible velocity for a pistol, and allows it to achieve the frightening range of eighty feet. The reviews all say that the gun is very accurate, regardless of its lack of adjustable hop up, and the hop up that is there appears to come pre-tuned. Also, if you are a gun geek you will be fascinated and enraptured at the sight of the authentic badge denoting the guns special status as a colt. If I were you (which I am not) I would get this one. Here is a picture of the black beauty and a link so you can gaze upon it in awe and wonder.

Gun #2: As every gun fancier knows, the aesthetics of a given weapon can be very important. If a good gun has a crappy design not many will buy it regardless of its excellent quality. Yet if a good gun has a design that is too flashy it will be rejected. So I now present to you a gun that will give you a look of power and gangster-ness. I give you the second cheapy of the bunch, the sinister and malevolent M11A1 tactical SMG. It boasts the medium fps of the bunch, but the highest magazine capacity. So not only will you talk the talk, you will walk the walk with your newfound gangster identity. Buying this gun also has the advantage of warding off any mid-life crises that might be brewing. So gaze at the high strength plastic body and be transported back to your childhood days when hop up was being invented. 

Gun #3: And now we arrive to the one gun which I believe may just be the cream of the crop value wise. This fantabulous gun not only looks tough, manly and macho but comes with two, count them with me, two mags for quick and easy battlefield reloading. The mags each include a 70 bb reservoir that can be shaken into the loading area for fire. It boasts a second highest 290 fps muzzle velocity and yodels to the inner scrooge by coming to daddy with four hundred 0.12 g bbs. It has an effective range of 80 ft, but it doesn’t have hop up. Here is a picture of this majestic weapon that the single review calls “pretty beast.” So here is your link, eat up.  

I’m curious, and concerned. Concerned that my son thinks I could be on the brink of a mid-life crisis. Curious as to how “fantabulous” made it past spell check. And most importantly, how does a gun yodel to my inner scrooge?

Love that boy!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s